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[27 Dec 2007|12:47am]
im so compicated, and its annoying. many mixed emotions. i know no one really cares, but i thought i would type it down, get it out a little. i cant really talk to anyone about it because i REALLY feel like no one would understand. but its the strangest thing ever to go through. ughhh
4keep on lookin if your lookin for my goodies..

[30 Oct 2007|05:58pm]
i have discovered that i cant let myself be happy. i have what i want, yet i continue to find something wrong with every situation. why? i have no idea. i wish i could just be happy, and not feel so vulnerable about it.
if your lookin for my goodies..

[25 Sep 2007|06:10pm]
i love fall and everything about it. i dont even mind getting sick during it, because i alwasy do. i cant wait till things start happeneing. im so anxious.

im really sad and i dont know why. i dont feel like being with people right now, or hanging out with anyone. and it shouldnt be that way, because its my freshman year of college. i dont do anything, at all. and when people want me to do stuff, i make excuses to why i cant to it. i need a shrink :(
if your lookin for my goodies..

[20 Sep 2007|08:02pm]
[ mood | chipper ]

i love my christopher! more than anyone! he is so cute :)
we are a very mushy couple haha :)

if your lookin for my goodies..

[13 Sep 2007|06:20pm]
Spring sweet rhythm dance in my head
Slip into my lover's hands
Kiss me oh won't you kiss me now
And sleep I would inside your mouth

Don't be us too shy
Knowing it's no big surprise
That I will wait for you
I will wait for no one but you

Look please lover lay down
Spend this time with me
Together share this smile
Lover lay down

Walk with me, walk with you
Hold my hand your hands
So much we have dreamed
And you were so much younger
Hard to explain that we are stronger

A million reasons life to deny
Let's toss them away
See you and me we
Lay down look see
She and he
By my lover's side
Together share this smile
Each other's tears to cry
Together share this smile
Lover lay down

i'm so happy that part of my life is over,
i'm so happy that this part of my life has begun
i'm so happy that i have the people in my life that i do
if your lookin for my goodies..

[11 Sep 2007|04:36pm]
i'm not good enough...

and i know it

thats a horrible feeling

i just want to keep thinking
that forever will be the way i want it to be,
and nothing will change,
and everything will be right in my world

i <3 him
1keep on lookin if your lookin for my goodies..

[05 Sep 2007|06:35pm]
IM SO BORED! i'm inthe Gorgas Library...i have to be here till 9 tonight do finish my study hours, its 6:36 now...i have finished all my homework. what am i going to do.

i just realized i can grab a book, since it is a library, haha.

i dropped my sociology class b/c it looked wayyyy too hard, so now i'm only taking 13 hours. is that bad?
2keep on lookin if your lookin for my goodies..

[30 Aug 2007|05:58pm]
[ mood | nerdy ]

i'm kinda stressing because most of my classes are by computer, meaning, we only meet once a week and the rest we have to learn on our own on the computer. i dont like that, i hate computers, and also i'm not an organized person. i dont keep track of anything, so i know i'm going to fall behind. ughhhhhhhhhh.

and i havent really done anything since i've been here. i havent been to any parties or anything, and i havent really met that many new people, which makes me sad. i have a feeling my college life is going to be doomed. i am a pariah, haha

if your lookin for my goodies..

[11 Aug 2007|07:42pm]
[ mood | crushed ]

its time to grow up now
leave my home
my friends
my family
leave them behind
and start a new chapter

i'm sad
and alone

1keep on lookin if your lookin for my goodies..

[07 Aug 2007|02:03am]
[ mood | depressed ]

i know its stupid to be crying, but i cant help it. afterall, i know i'll still see him, and be with him. but its hard going from seeing each other every day to harldy at all. i'm sorry friends for being lame. i didnt realize how much he has meant to me. as i type this, crying my eyes out, i remember all the times we had together this summer, and not one of them were bad

2keep on lookin if your lookin for my goodies..

[10 Jul 2007|01:01pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

that was what i was looking for.

~check off going to the lake
~check off playing childhood games
~check off befriend someone new

i hope to see those people a lot this summer :)

4keep on lookin if your lookin for my goodies..

[05 Jul 2007|10:19pm]
do you ever read something, something you really dont want to, but you do it anyway, and then you feel bad after you do. like your about to cry. ya welll i just did that and now i feel like i'm going to cry.

its something i can do nothing about, so why worry about it right?
it just makes me sad :(
if your lookin for my goodies..

[05 Jul 2007|03:40pm]
chris is super cute :)

and amazing!
if your lookin for my goodies..

[29 May 2007|06:11pm]
[ mood | refreshed ]


~plan a beach trip
~go camping
~again and again and again
~take a road trip in june
~take a road trip in july
~jump off a cliff into a lake (lets make it happen, its been one for a long time!)
~play all my favorite childhood games
~see an old friend
~have lots of cookouts
~go to the lake
~tell ghost stories in a graveyard
~don't fall in love
~party like its 1999
~realize guys are not worth my time
~befriend someone new
~change someone's life

i'll be checking these off as i accomplish them.
friends, please help me accomplish my goals

2keep on lookin if your lookin for my goodies..

[27 May 2007|10:55pm]
[ mood | lonely ]

wanna trick me?
go ahead. i'll fall for it, i promise.
i always do.
wanna hurt me?
go ahead. i'll get hurt. i promise.
i always do.

wanna love me?
you cant. i'll simply not believe. i promise.
i never do.

however, i'm a fish who always takes the bait.

3keep on lookin if your lookin for my goodies..

[18 May 2007|01:07pm]
[ mood | sick ]

for the past few weeks i have not been able to remember my password to this thing. i finally figured it out today.

summer is here. i love my new friends! they are AMAZING!

i had been waiting for so long to get high school and senior year over with and graduate. when the last day of school came, i was walking around crying. who would have thought? i miss my underclassman friends. i miss my senior friends who i know i will never see again. i even miss some of my teachers. its a sad thing to know that we are all growing up, growing old, and growing apart. i want to grow together

2keep on lookin if your lookin for my goodies..

[20 Apr 2007|11:38pm]
[ mood | gloomy ]

i hate having expectations
because my exppectations are never met
its not like they are high or anything
they are just always unmet
shady shady people
it sucks

12 days till i'm 19
12 days till i'm rich :)

4keep on lookin if your lookin for my goodies..

[11 Mar 2007|11:06pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]


learn how to fucking tip if your going out to eat at a nice resturuant!!!!

i swear, today at work, no one tiped even a dime. its like, why the hell would you go out to eat if your not going to tip/ some of you might say "well maybe they didnt have good service" bull shit they did! there are maybe 2 servers who arent that great, but neither of them worked today. i guess people do not realize that servers only get paid $2.13 an hour, and that $2.13 an hour gets taken away, for taxes, for there pay checks are Void. so basically, they earn money from their tips and their tips only. now next time you all go out to eat, please remember that, please, because its very sad to spend a great deal of effort in a table and not get tiped well. thank you

2keep on lookin if your lookin for my goodies..

[01 Mar 2007|10:34pm]
[ mood | thoughtful ]

so i havent posted in a loooong time...
i thought i would start it out tonight by saying this:
i've been thinking a lot about death lately. not my own, but others. it seems as if a lot of people are dying lately. this one girl, sarah, died this past weekend. she was only 18. the same age as me. she was beautiful and nice and all around a great person. but her life was cut short. unexpectedly. and tonight, when all those storms hit, a lot of people died. unexpectedly. its so sad to think about. all these people with tons of potential or none at all just died. i mean, they could have been me, or someone that i truely cared about. i dont want to die when i'm young. i feel like i have too much to offer the world right now. i'm sure they did too. i want to be one of those people to change the world for the better somehow. tonight when i was driving to work in the storm, i was sure i was goign to die. and i was wishing i had done more of the things i had wanted to do but never had the corage to do them, i was wishing i had spent more time with the people i love. i love so many people, its what i do best, but i never get to see them enough for them to know that. when i realized i was safe and the storm was over i thought i need to start doing things. actually living life instead of wasting away in my shallow hole. people say "relax, its just life" but its just life until you have no more life to live. i want every day to be spent doing something i love. or at least doing one thing i love. and i dont want to forget a moment of it.

3keep on lookin if your lookin for my goodies..

[14 Dec 2006|08:37pm]
[ mood | crushed ]

it doesnt even feel like christmas to me.
emmie isnt here
my mom had to go to the hospital yesterday...we dont know what she has or how long she will have to be there
she doesnt get to see my sister graduate from college, the first of the 4 to do so.
we dont get to have our family christmas dinner
we dont even know if she will be here christmas day
and that makes me horribly sad.
also josh has been acting weird, not calling me, only talking to me when i text him first. and that is kinda sad too.
i miss him. i dont understand why he wont talk to me. i guess he doesnt like me afterall, but then why did he get me such a pretty christmas present?
emmie, i cant wait till you come! your the only thing saving me right now

3keep on lookin if your lookin for my goodies..

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